Top ten non-living pets

10. Chowder
9. Thread
8. Grass clippings
7. Paper
6. Can of corn
5. Asphalt
4. Chalk
3. Scissors
2. Paste
1. Abe Vigoda

Filed under: top ten lists , non-living pets, top ten

New look… new start.

A new beginning of sorts. I haven’t posted on this blog in a very long time, so I thought I’d freshen up the look and try to start writing again. At least I’ll have the opportunity to pop out a few new top ten lists. So, in that line of thinking, here’s a new top ten.

Top ten reasons to try to blog again:

10. Desperate envy for all of you successful bloggers
9. Insatiable desire to spout opinions on meaningless topics
8. Good way to stop pesky ants
7. Blog is a fun word, thus it must be fun to do
6. Another way to promote poor grammar and speling
5. Really need to work on wasting more time
4. Blogging does not release harmful greenhouse gasses
3. One word: mellifluous
2. New task to practice my procrastination
1. No pants required

Filed under: top ten lists , blog, new look, new start, top ten

Top ten desserts I just wouldn’t eat

10. Chalk Muffin
9. Hair Lime Pie
8. Hot Resin Sunday
7. Bile Soufflé
6. Glass Shard Brownies
5. Mucus Pudding
4. Sonic Urine Blast
3. Chocolate Covered Sardines
2. Insulation Candy
1. Reese's Feces

Filed under: top ten lists , desserts, top ten

Top ten things spam could be used for… but shouldn’t

10. Protection
9. Mittens
8. Paint
7. Lubricant
6. Advice
5. Paper
4. Soap
3. Toothpaste
2. Fuel
1. Ear plugs

Filed under: top ten lists , spam, top ten

Top ten appropriate names for hurricanes that will never be used

10. Big 'un
9. Hellstorm
8. Devastator
7. Apocalyptic-Cloud Horror
6. Nasty
5. Windy Rain Thing
4. Swirling-Death
3. Lucifer
2. Annihilator
1. Mother

Filed under: top ten lists , hurricanes, top ten

Top ten reasons top ten lists no longer come out weekly

10. Not many people read them anyway
9. I was once cast as a "Holiday Lemur"
8. Difficult to come up with ten of anything
7. Lots of hurricanes generally mean fewer top tens
6. Very few things actually happen weekly
5. The few people who read rarely comment
4. See September 14 Top Ten List
3. I'm generally filled with sloth
2. The jerk store called and said they were out of you
1. Difficult to come up with ten of anything

Filed under: top ten lists , top ten

Top ten excuses for having missed said month of lists

Okay, so I've missed a few weeks. Sorry about that. In honor of the month of missed lists, here are the top ten excuses for having missed said month of lists:

10. Mild dementia
9. Ongoing struggle against angry spacemen
8. Hard to post while underwater
7. Daylight savings time
6. Been very, very sleepy
5. Inability to think due to onslaught of 80's songs stuck in my head
4. Two words, "la zy"
3. Too busy generating hurricanes
2. College football
1. Blogs are stupid, and so are you

Filed under: top ten lists , excuses, top ten

Top ten places to hide

10. Behind a tree
9. In a large, empty clothes hamper
8. Under the bed
7. In a pile of leaves
6. In an elevator shaft
5. In the closet
4. In a small, full clothes hamper
3. In a wall of mud
2. In an abandoned refrigerator
1. A secret place

Filed under: top ten lists , hide, top ten

Top ten things for which spoons were not designed

10. Hauling scrap metal
9. Preserving fruit
8. Databases
7. Feeding sharks
6. Administering suppositories
5. Deer hunting
4. Communication
3. Artificial limbs
2. Transportation
1. Golf

Filed under: top ten lists , spoons, top ten